Buy the rank
Your cumulative confirmed spend is your rank. No secret algorithm. More money gets the better cheek.
Tap either cheek
OW!
Top 6 get prime ink. 7–18 get micro tattoos. 19–36 meet the stapler. Everybody else stays in the cheek queue.
The world’s dumbest ad space
Slap your brand on it.
Pay for a place on the cheek. Bigger bid, better spot. Get outbid and your brand slides from prime ink toward the stapler.
Virgin cheek alert$5 to be first
New brands start at $5. Bid any amount for the rank it can buy. Taking #1 costs at least $5 more. Same URL later? You only pay the difference.
Current ownerUnclaimed
On-body spots0 / 36
Your previewYOUR BRAND
Paid to the cheek$0
Brands on the body0
Top bid$0
Cheek clicks0
Slap standings
One ranking. Every confirmed dollar counts. Equal bids keep their original order. The top 36 live on the body; everybody stays listed.
No brands have had the guts yet.$5 makes internet history. And probably a noise.
Ink, staple, queue
Ranks 1–6 get prime tattoos, 7–18 micro ink, and 19–36 stapled notes. Lower ranks stay visible in the queue and full standings.
Slap back harder
Use the same canonical URL to raise your total. Checkout charges only the difference. Every confirmed payment triggers a fresh slap.
Inspired by outbid.lol by Jonathan Wilke (@jonathan_wilke). He had the idea first. We just added a butt. Go bid there too.